Haha, make no mistake I am still confident about my path so far and all that but... entertain a "what if" with me for now.
I spend probably 20 hours a week in the practice rooms. Far more than I spend studying or reading up on ling. While it is my hobby, I feel that, yeah, I maybe could have made it in music.
Charles sometime during third year told me that I should have been a music major, if not a performance than a musicology major. Coming from someone as discriminating as him, it made a big impact. I remember dating the piano major, after playing a piece, who said "You really showed me up tonight." Organ teacher told me, "We'll make you a music major yet!"
I think life would be pretty difficult if I chose music as my path. A lot of things would have changed. I wouldn't be in the state that I'm in for studies and consequently I wouldn't have met the awesome people there.
But I'd like to think I have the gumption to make it in the music world. Well, until it comes down to that I'll continue on my merry way.
sitting at the table next to us
even loud and busy background
can't drown out voice
peripheral vision
distracted
can't engage in conversation
forgot food
don't talk to me
steal glance
impossibly cute
conniving ways
to meet
so close but so
far
i'm not on the radar
didn't eat
too obvious
friends question
can't let on
embarrassed
secrets
bathroom visit
good timing
bad timing
best timing
worst timing
delayed check
maybe a chance
but how
cannot believe
you exist
unbelievably beautiful
time to go
what
desperate
to talk
to say
to do anything
courage
is lacking
flushed with
frustration
good bye
fuck
